No Longer Sola

So, being utterly exhausted, I didn't get to my blog last night, so I'm combining day 8 and 9 of my journal on today's post. Yesterday was the end of the first seven days and the beginning of reintroducing food. This was a good thing because around lunch time I was totally ravenous, which probably meant my body was really ready to eat. So, I had a banana in the afternoon and it tasted great! I was really craving a Honeycrisp apple, which is my favorite. I had one of those aro

Today was like having the noonday demon all day. I'm probably just physically exhausted and but today was tricky. I didn't do as good a job praying my way out of my funk as I would've liked. The noonday demon was strong today. If you don't know what I'm referring to, the noonday demon is an old foe of mankind. A monk named Evagrius from Pontus described it this way, and this demon is not one who only attacks monks but all of us at some point. "The demon of acedia, which is al

I broke my fast today, though not because I intended. I got in one of those situations where food was kindly offered to me and to refuse would've meant offense. And so, in the spirit of the Church's stance on hospitality (and common courtesy) I ate some food... tacos to be more precise. Yes, they tasted delicious for a few minutes. But let's make one thing perfectly clear - you don't break a five day water fast on fast food tacos!! My body absolutely hated me the rest of

Today was a really good day on the fasting front. I was not very bothered about not partaking in food at fellowship, although it did look really good. I'll chalk up this win to the grace of God given in the Liturgy through the Eucharist. I am deeply thankful for the gifts of the Liturgy, but it isn't exactly a graceful or powerfully Divine experience when you are wrangling half a dozen children. One of the difficulties I normally have in Church is distraction, especially in

Today was a pretty good day, I feel less fatigue and soreness generally. The evenings are difficult because a lifetime of practice has taught me that the evening meal is the most social one, so, not eating is difficult emotionally instead of physically. Fasting brings a clarity to the mind that I don't otherwise experience. Those who have fasted before know what I mean. Clarity of mind allows us, I think, to focus more on preparing ourselves for anything, but specifically pra

Today was stressful for us, we are trying to buy a house, and (as we all know) that's a roller coaster. There were other anxiety causing situations as well and I found myself deep in the pit of anxious thoughts today. On top of that, I had to see and smell food all day long, while I drank my water and wished I was doing anything other than fasting. But I finished Day 3, and I felt stronger about it than I felt yesterday. May tomorrow be even stronger. In the meantime, I

One of the points of fasting is that we would show no mercy to our own sins. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and thus we are God's people, the new Israel. If we dare to engage in a spiritual reading of the Scriptures, we find a valuable lesson in Deuteronomy 7. “When the Lord your God brings you into the land that you are entering to take possession of it, and clears away many nations before you, the Hittites, the Girgashites, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Periz

The war in my thoughts definitely came. I kept the fast today and found it easier to remember to pray, to get less bogged down in distracting myself. Work gave me something productive to do today that proved very helpful. I knew the evening would be a lot harder. And it has been. I started today reading Matthew 6 and paying attention to the connections between prayer, fasting, almsgiving and not being anxious about one's life. Those passages were a comfort and helpful redir

October 1st I decided today to start a fast. My goal is to make it the whole month. I aim to do a water fast for the first week and then continue to water fast on the Church’s fasting days the rest of month and eat only raw fruits or vegetables the rest of the month. Why am I doing this? Food is tied up with a lot of spiritual demons and fears for me. Some people might have a hard time understanding that, but I didn’t have a very disciplined way of eating growing up. I have h